In the Hood
by ms-unit
Summary: Eminem and his cousin Skittles face off 50 cent and the change crew in the ultimate rapper showdown. It will be the greatest ghetto battle ever!


**In the Hood**

It was going to be a big fight tonight. It's going to be Eminem and his cousin Skittles. Fighting them was 50 cent and the change crew. Oh yes, all of them were there. Quinton Quarter, Damion Dime, Nate Nickel, and Patrick Penny. Eminem looked over to his cousin with a serious expression on his face.

"You ready Skittles?"

"I can taste the rainbow man." he responded.

"Good enough homes." Eminem concluded.

Then he turned back over to glance at 50 cent and his crew named after loose change. They all stared down at each other trying to scare them down from fighting, but it didn't work against such amazing warriors. Eminem was confident in his street fighting skills and 50 cent outnumbered him five to two. The ultimate showdown is about to begin.

"Get out of here you Caucasian rapper! This fight isn't yours!" 50 cent yelled out.

Eminem decided to yell back. "Well at least I'm not white!"

"Man you stupid!" one of 50 cent's crew yelled back.

Then they all started slowly walking towards each other ready to hit whatever they got. Eminem decided to make the first move. He charged at Damion Dime and quickly drop kicked him and forced Dime to fall on the asphalt pavement. Eminem tried to get back up, but he wasn't quick enough for Nate Nickel and Patrick Penny.

They jumped on top of him trying to make his face touch the asphalt. Skittles decided to help his Caucasian cousin and pushed the two change crew members off of Eminem's back. With Skittles' help, Eminem got back on his feet ready to fight again.

50 cent decided to try a new fighting technique. He grabbed his friend Quinton Quarter by the back of the shirt, picked him up and threw him towards Eminem. Quarter was flying full speed until Skittles tossed a trash can in the way and Quarter smashed his face into the metal garbage device. Quarter fell on the ground and Eminem decided to take a shot and kicked him in the ribs. With ribs shattered and a bloody nose, Quinton Quarter laid on the ground motionless.

"One down...four to go." Eminem told Skittles.

In his anger, 50 cent roared like a hippopotamus and ran towards Eminem like a bull charging at a red cape. Once again, Skittles saved his cousin by stepping out his foot and tripped 50 cent and sent him hurling towards the black pavement. His body skidded against the rough asphalt until his clothes were torn and his face lost its skin.

Seeing that their leader was in pain, Penny, Nickel, and Dime ran to help him, but Eminem got in their way. The remaining change members stopped to confront their enemy and they gave a mean face as if they were going to kill him. Soon enough, Eminem spin kicked all three of them in the head. They stumbled back from the impact and then got ready again.

Dime charged first, but Eminem knocked him out with a quick slap across the face. Dime did four back flips in the air and then landed face first into the ground. Nickel did a high leap towards Eminem, but he quickly stopped it by catching him and then throwing the slightly small crew member into a brick wall. Patrick Penny quickly rolled onto the ground and landed underneath his opponent. With a quick jab, he nailed his Caucasian enemy right where his nuts were.

Eminem screamed out in pain and agony. He clutched his bruised balls and fell on the ground rolling on his back breathing extremely loud. Seeing that his partner was in trouble, Skittles came over to Penny and punched him in the face. Penny fell on the ground holding his face and he cried.

50 cent was now ready to fight once more and he was angrier than ever! Skittles turned over to his injured cousin and knew that he was in no shape to fight. So he picked him up and fled the battle.

"This isn't over you Caucasian fools!"

Ignoring 50 cent's threat, Eminem continued crying in pain as Skittles carried him to their crib.

**Part 2**

Eminem was lying down on his partially torn couch while Skittles was cooking a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Yo Skittles! We got any turkey?"

"Nope. Just peanut butter."

"What about ham?"

"Nope. Just jelly."

Eminem continued lying down on his couch watching the ceiling. He noticed that it was cracked. Then as he watched it later on, it started forming more cracks on its own! All of a sudden, a fat guy fell through the ceiling and landed on Eminem's stomach! The impact caused the couch to break and Eminem ended up on the floor with a big fat guy on top of him!

"Yo man! Get this fat dude off of me!" Eminem yelled out to his cousin.

The fat guy turned around and said, "What did you say player?"

Then Eminem realized who the fat guy was...it was Fat Joe! Eminem gave a slight smile and shook his hands while laying down on the ground underneath Fat Joe. Then seeing that they were cool, Fat Joe picked Eminem up and they both were standing face to face. Later on, Skittles walked in the room carrying a plate with two burnt peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

"Man what is that stuff?" Fat Joe asked while holding his nose.

"It's peanut butter and jelly." Skittles responded. Then he took one whiff and glanced down at his overcooked meal.

"Man! I overcooked it again!" Skittles cried out.

He immediately left the room carrying the plate of the overcooked sandwiches. Then Eminem and Fat Joe looked at each other again.

"So what were you doing upstairs?" Eminem asked.

"I was doing some jumping jacks. Trying to stay in shape for my girl." Fat Joe responded.

"But I thought you were...never mind. Anyways, Skittles and I have a rematch with 50 cent and the change crew tomorrow. Can you help out a Caucasian brother?"

Eminem smiled innocently trying to convince Fat Joe. Joe simply rubbed his chin and then after a while, he started to smile.

"All right my homie. I'll help."

"All right," Eminem proclaimed, "We got Fat Joe!"

Skittles walked in the room carrying a plate with two burnt sandwiches. He looked down at them and started to get angry.

"Darn you terrible cooking skills!"

**Part 3**

It was a dark night in the ghetto alley. 50 cent was already there with his change crew. Every single member got surgery and now they looked like Michael Jackson. Eminem, Skittles, and Fat Joe walked up to them staring them down with evil glares. 50 cent started shouting at the three challengers.

"You think some fat Caucasian is going to help you beat us? It's bad enough that we smoked you last time!"

"What are you talking about half dollar?" Eminem started to say, "We were the ones that kicked your tail last time!"

"Man you stupid!" A crew member shouted out.

Everyone got into fighting positions. Eminem looked at his partners with a serious expression.

"Skittles! You and me team up on 50 cent. Fat Joe! You take on everybody else!"

Fat Joe gave a confused look as if he was going to ask Eminem a question, but it was too late. The change crew flew like demons and jumped on top of Fat Joe knocking him over. Fat Joe was now on his back fighting off four street fighters. Eminem and his cousin didn't bother to help and ran over to 50 cent.

"I've been waiting a long time for this." 50 cent told them.

50 cent roared and charged at Eminem and Skittles. Using his bulging arms, he grabbed both of his Caucasian enemies and threw them on the ground hard. While 50 cent was pummeling the two boys named after popular candy, Fat Joe was taking on the entire change crew. He was on the ground when his rage awakened and he used his bulging belly to push them off of him.

He was now standing up with his fists in the air shouting at the top of his lungs.

"If you want this you have to take it! So try it fools!"

Then out of nowhere, Quinton Quarter smashed a metal pipe on the top of Fat Joe's head. The fat Caucasian was instantly knocked out and he fell face first into the pavement not moving any of his loose fat. Seeing that they overcame their first obstacle, the change crew decided to get back to fighting Eminem and Skittles.

Meanwhile, Eminem and Skittles were trying their best to survive 50 cent's brutal attacks. Punch after punch, the two cousins fell on their backs, got back up, and then fell back down again. Finally, Eminem had had enough and kicked 50 cent in the jaw. Surprised by this attack, 50 cent fell down grabbing his jaw trying to put in back in place.

Then Skittles noticed that the change crew was coming to 50 cent's rescue. So Skittles ran off trying to fight them off. He killed every single one of them in seconds. He then went back over to 50 cent, but Eminem told him that this was his fight.

Now it was Eminem against 50 cent. The ultimate rapper showdown. Caucasian versus African American. Candy against coin. Without warning, 50 cent lunged at Eminem, but using his Matrix knowledge he dodged and made 50 cent run into the wall behind Eminem. The wall was too hard to endure and 50 cent's skull shattered from the impact. It was over. Eminem and Skittles was the victor! Fat Joe didn't count because he didn't last five seconds against the change crew that Skittles took down in four seconds.

Now what do they do? They go off and make another rap record deal based on their challenges in the hood.

**THE END**

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